Hard Truth #1: Your out of control behavior is in your control
One common theme I’ve noticed over the years from working with thousands of people with their money development is this: Everyone has something they do that depletes their energy and keeps them from being successful.
This “something” is self-induced and has nothing to do with others, the economy, and even their environment.
It’s behaviour that is completely in the person’s control yet they still desire to keep that aspect out of control.
In other words, their out of control behavior is oddly enough…in their control.
Personally, my out of control behavior is evidenced by the crazy amount of paperwork located in my office and just outside my office. I have binders, notebooks, and stacks of paper that I will get to, “someday.”
These stacks take my energy every time I look at them. With every glance I send their way, utters a silent yet deafening response from them, “Hey what about us? We thought you were going to get to us, we are sitting here waiting on you.” I reply sharply, “I know you’re waiting on me, I’m waiting on the extra time in the day to deal with you.”
Thus, more lies uttered.
As my head hits the pillow each night, I secretly wonder, when will that “extra time” come to deal with my papers?
What is in your control that is currently out of control? Meaning, what is one thing that if you changed your behavior could lead you to becoming more successful, productive or creative?
Hard Truth #2: Your Excuses need to go!
Ever notice it’s easier to make up a reason something hasn’t happened for you instead of finding a solution to making something happen? What I mean is, too often we seek the easier path, call it avoidance, call it procrastination, call it overwhelm, frankly it doesn’t matter what you call it, what matters is you dig a little deeper into why you hold yourself back.
Perhaps holding back from your dreams and goals serves you. By serving you, I mean you receive a payoff for not stretching and achieving your goals.
Payoff’s come in many forms: staying comfortably in your comfort zone. Complaining to others, ie having a victim mentality. Having to rely on others for support.
These payoffs, at the surface may not sound like benefits, yet when you dig deeper it’s easy to see how they benefit people. Victims get a lot of attention and focus. Victims get rescued. Victims get saved. You have probably heard the saying, “The squeaky wheel gets the grease.”
Let me be clear, I am not referring to people who have had catastrophic events happen to them.
I am referring to people who have an able mind and yet, continue to make excuses as to why they aren’t where they want to be in life and continue to blame their circumstances on others.
I encourage you to drop your excuses and start living! Try a different approach to life and see how it goes.
Start with small steps and take it one day at a time.
Hard Truth #3: People are self-focused not you focused.
Sad but true…Most people are super worried about what others think of them. How many times have you done or not done something solely because you were worried what other people would say or think about you?
Seriously, think back to a time in your life when you did something (or didn’t) because of what someone else might think.
I can think of many examples, like all the times I’ve picked up the dinner tab with friends because I thought people would think I was cheap if I didn’t.
Today, I realize how much I’ve grown as a person. I think more of myself and I no longer think I have to always pick up the tab.
Changing old behavior took work, deep inner work and also it took confronting myself by asking, “why do I always pick up the tab when I’m out with friends.” This first step led me to having an honest conversation with myself and then I got to explore ways to raise my self- esteem.
Exercise: discover the areas of your life that you behave in ways that don’t serve you and stop worrying what others think.
These areas are: ______________________________________________________________
What can you do differently now that you realize people are more concerned about themselves than you? : ______________________________________________________________
Hopefully you allocated some thinking time to these questions. Thinking time, is time well spent. Thinking time can help you find solutions to long term challenges. Consider these 3 hard truths and how your life will change once you come to grips with them.
Hopefully these truths will be a relief to you and give you permission to be YOU.
If it’s permission you are waiting for then great…permission granted! NOW…Go ahead and be the best version of you possible.
Your Partner for Success,